Monday, May 12, 2008

Salvation.....Summer Time

Finally have finished up my last final, this past finals week seemed to be the hardest one yet. Lost motivation to keep studying and keep working on my papers. Needed one last push to the end. Now I've made it, grades in, no more classes, no more deadlines.

Summer time, first day of it, and yes I slept in until about 3pm, I deserved it! Been through a lot this year: random love, heartbreak, losing friends, losing respect and having to regain it, struggling with concentration, growing up some more.

Now I work, study for my GREs, start more scuba, and soon in June begin my research again.

One the note of Mother's day that has just recently past: well this is the first year my father did not get a card, instead I made a thank you card for his wife, who has recently helped me a lot. Mother's day is not for the woman you gave birth to you, in no way does she just automatically deserve a card and dinner and candy. Mother's day is for the woman in your life that has supported you and been there for you, not left you when you needed you.

Recently someone has entered back into my life, he has been around for 5 years now, helped me when I have needed help. So now I return the favor. I feel bad, one person has turned down one long dark path, and now its worse. I feel bad, but he needs to make the right choices on his own. Now that he may have made the biggest mistake and having relationship troubles while battling our long ago past. First true love. Let go a long time ago, both regret, yet both have gone down different paths. I have grown up, not as immature as once was, resentment has past, while he is still the same. Doesn't know what to do with his life, still the same person, may be twenty some, but still 18 inside and out.
How to help someone so lost. Wish I could do more. One lost and confused soul.

One lost and confused soul, walking around among the mist,
walking in no particular direction,
directions does not matter, nothing does,
one lost soul with words racing through their head,
jumbled words, no order, no sense,
one lost and confused soul, walking in the dark not walking toward a light that may exist,
no motivation to walk in the direction of the light,
one lost and confused soul, the dim light is there, though it is not a lite task to reach up the dark mountain to reach it,
one lost and confused soul just sitting on a rock staring at it.......

The power to reach salvation takes a lot of strength and endurance, but it can be reached. Everyday live your day with the strength that you have inside of you, only have to find it inside of your self.

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