Friday, December 10, 2010

What the Heck Is going on (A mental Battle)

In the past three weeks I have gone on 1 4mile run... EKkk... Marathon is in 5 weeks...Can I make it?

I will not be aiming for a good first time any more. I was aiming at a 3:45:00 time...Now I am praying to be in under 4:00:00. Ugh Why is this happening? I was doing so well then one day I just stopped running???

I feel so werid lately. Maybe because work has been slow and I just sit at my desk all day instead of up moving around. I have applied for a new job, one that will pay more, be full time, and have benefits. I love my job, I do. But I do need the money and healthcare. As of right now I am playing Survival of the Fitest by not ever going to the doctor (Sick or not). If I get this job I will have a big commute, possibly public transportation involved. Longer days, but chances of publications, different type of experience (Along with the other pros).

I decided to wait a little bit more for graduate school.

Last night I got to thinking, as I was binge eating. Note: I was able to stop my self after two large bagels with cream cheese and peanut butter. I wonder if I replaced my rage and anger and depression with food. I feel as though the year I took to heal with the therapies and the good for you drugs that it healed me but also harmed me. The happy and calming drugs made me lethargic and not care but very laid back. So now I do not lash out and I do not get angry but I eat alot (emotionally) I was doing so great for few weeks. Now for three weeks this is what I have been doing, eating.

I thought last weekends fun trip that included tons of swimming and excercise would boost me into my routine but now its the daunting 8 miles every other day that scares me, Though I know I can do it.

I should be happy!!! I should be running!!! Grr. I'll figure it out some day... .

Sorry for the rambling...

Monday, November 29, 2010

Today I will run. Yes, I think I will

IT has been a short while since I have been on here; hope everyone had a great holiday weekend! Mine was good and not so good. My karma must be just out of whack, or I have had lots of bad karma built up. My thanksgiving night the BF and I went to our friend’s house for a great and lovely dinner, bottle of wine, and some pie. Though I was not home with my family, I was spending a great holiday with a new found family down here.

We leave with a full pumpkin pie, my friend made two pumpkin pies and two pecans so we got pie and turkey, yummy. Get home around 8:30- 9:00 carry all our goodies up stairs clean up and go to sleep. Little did we know what lie for me in the morning?

In the morning the BF gets up and goes hunting, I had a list of things to do. One of which included sleeping in! I am wakening by pounding on my door! The puppers is yelling I am going “Wtf” I get up and dressed, no more pounding on the door… Creepy, open the door slightly. No one is there. Hmm okay.

Have my coffee and bagel watch my recording of BL; Where are they?

Get ready to go to the store because I wanted to make a rum cake for the hunting club we were supposed to spend the weekend down there. I go down to my car, get in. hmmm something is out of place.

All of my vehicle papers were thrown about the car! Someone was in my car rummaging through it!!! They stole my purse/wallet which was under my seat hidden. UGH SO upset, but the stoopid people did not take my GPS?! Ugh

Upset call BF took over and hour (no reception) cancel all cards, freak out, call police, freak out.

Needless to say we just lay around Friday because I was so upset. Saturday we eventually made it to camp but only after the police officer came back out and processed my car. Which was boring for the most part, the camping I mean.

I have not run. I have been lazy and I ate!

Today is a new week, I only have 50some days left before my FIRST marathon. Also today the office (of my apartment community) called; someone dropped my purse in the drop box. What?! Weird. EVERYTHING in it…

Maybe the just wanted cash; which I don’t carry.

Oh well.. Someone still violated my car.

Today I will run. Yes, I think I will.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

The Unsuccessful Miles

We all know our limits…well I guess except for Ms.Ritz she just doesn’t listen and tells the people in her head quiet! Most of us know when to stop or keep going. We know when to test our body and mind and when to let them rest. We know when we do things to hurt our selves. Taking too little time to recover, taking too much time.

In this case I took too much time, last time I ran was last Friday a 16 miler. Then I went camping as previously mentioned. I was scheduled to run Monday, I felt so sluggish. I went home after work and lie down. So yesterday (Tuesday) I go out for my 8 miler. UGH. It hurt, my shins hurt for the whole first 4 miles, I couldn’t bare myself to keep going. I wanted to cry. Maybe I should have kept going. Maybe I should have run on Monday and just sucked it up. This has been the first time this training period my shins hurt, I had been babying them the entire marathon training and getting amazing results with a lot of miles.

But I did not, now I am 13 miles behind my week’s schedule. Today I would like to get 10 miles in. I have thought about breaking up my miles during the week to morning and evening. Then I just can’t get the courage to get up out of bed. Then I question my self, am I setting myself up to hate my first marathon? I am over half way through my training. I only have 7 weeks left.

I hope that I can get my head on track; I feel that there is so much going on up there (see previous posts) This is difficult on your own to train for a marathon blindly running.

I haven’t run a race since…August. (Random)

I talk a lot of game but going and doing what I say, ha. Like last night BF wanted to go out to dinner at a local restaurant Tuesday they have ½ off burgers (beer, turkey, chicken) they grind their own meat and fresh fries. So I said that I would run 4 more after dinner. No I was tired we get home mess with the laundry for 50 mins. Watch the rest of Bucket List, cried, and went to bed.
At 8 p.m. So you would think that I would be able to get up early to go run, yeah no.
I do make it to work by 7:30 to leave early. So hopefully I will get the miles in. Maybe write down my daily goals to accomplish…I always feel good about finishing a list.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

TOO Much on my Mind

I had thought about running in a Turkey Trot. I had all intentions to run in one, along with my BF. It was slightly expensive, $30.00 but was going to. Then I just forgot, and now have decided that my forgetting to register for it was a good idea. It does not seem so smart to run on Turkey day, well race then eat a lot and then run 20 miles the next day. And camping again this weekend

I should have run yesterday, but I was so exhausted still from the weekend of camping. I only have 4 runs a week; I get them in just not on the original schedule.

So this week-

Tuesday- 8miles

Wednesday-10 with 8 miles at 8:43

Thursday- 8 miles

Friday- 20 miles

I am going camping Friday night until Sunday so this is how I can fit it in, I wanted a rest day before my 20 but I also need to get my miles in.

It is funny now that 8 miles truly is easy and I know I will finish just over an hour.

My motivation last week was great, this week… It is there. I am worried slightly that I am getting or have been sick. I have just felt drained and can’t seem over come it. I also have had a slight headache and just sick feeling…

I have too much on my mind…about graduate school, do I apply? It is crunch time and I just don’t know if I am ready? Then I feel pressure by everyone that I need to apply now like if I don’t apply now then I never will. That is not it… I have all ways been the most motivated person anyone knows, I think I want to do different things before I go back to school.

I am not a failure for not jumping right into graduate school I think; I have a job in my field. Not a permanent one, but it is experience. I just want to be ready, than the question of well you moved all the way down here to take a break and then go back. Gah! Maybe I just should….Send out the e-mails get everything in, and if I am not accepted then I will be more ready next year!

Oh I don’t know, I don’t want to waste my old professors time writing a Letter of Rec if I still have to re-take the GREs before they change the format…My previous score is 980…ugh. I am not good at taking these standardized tests…This I the fight I have with myself. My supervisor talks me in to it and that yes this is a difficult decision and my working experience is very beneficial.

I always have a feeling of self doubt before I do something, like when I ran my first XC meet in college. I was all most in tears, saying that if I even finish I will be in last place! Yet, I finished the race and not even close to last place!

Ugh. If I can prepare for a marathon and I apply to graduate school. Applying for graduate school takes less time and effort than my 16 week training for a marathon!

I think my mental stress about apply for graduate school is why I am having so many nightmares, a colleague said it sounds like I have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome…ugh

Sorry I am rambling… I will be better tomorrow.

Monday, November 22, 2010

A 16 miles and a camping we will go!

This past weekend I went camping, redneck style. I had 16 miles on the books the tackle first! I went to work early so that I could get it done after work. I planned 4 loops of 4 miles…I set out each loop good, the first one I though that I goofed and ran too short a distance. But looked at my map later I did not.

I ran 16 miles in 2:16:16 mins at a 8:31pace. GU on the 8 mile mark. Wow I am doing alright it seems. I took my ice bath stretched, the bf and I had decided on pizza for dinner since we had to get ready for the weekend.

There are times after my long runs I just can not put anything in to my body, I ate small salad and two small pieces of a 10” pizza pie. Eh-what ev.
Completing my run before going camping made me feel (1) accomplished and then (2) lazy all weekend lol.

I say redneck camping because it was at his hunting club, dog hunting. We stayed in an old Truck refrigerator trailer. It has been transformed in to a “camper” with four beds a kitchen and a huge screen tv, but not a new one. Like one of the original BIG screens lol.
It is still fun. WE (meaning just him I sat in the truck) hunted all day, no dead bambi’s YAY! He just shot at one but didn’t hit it. Then I made a fire, we grilled dinner and drank some Coors and budlites by the fire I made! I did get to make my BF his first Smore…I can not believe he had no clue what it was?!
Now he loves them!
So my running is doing well over all. This upcoming weekend we are going camping again so Friday I will do my 20 miler…
Today I have 10miles, two of which I will be running with a friend yay!
Happy Monday!

Friday, November 19, 2010

Over Looked Thankfulness?

There are things that we seem to over look. We get up get ready for work, do our morning ritual, go to work/school, come home either workout/run/family time etc. Dinner, rest, sleep, and repeat the next day. These are all things that as individuals we work hard for. We put everything into our homes, our toys, our cars, our family and loved ones.

Do we think about these things?

Maybe this came at the right time of year.

The BF and I had to take our clothes to the apartment laundry room, our dryer broke and he is not Mr. fix it…Well at least with this stoopid dryer. So we take the clothes up (it is dark) but them in the dryer and get ready to go. We were going out for dinner. A woman knocks on the door we open because we are leaving and she walks in. Now this is a problem because we have a key to get in to that locked building (paid for) she apparently did not. We did not know if she lived there. So my guy stayed inside while I went to the car (she did not look right, like on drugs), he did not want to feel responsible if something happened to our clothes or the community center. He told her that he didn’t feel comfortable with her being in there without a key, so she walked out.

Note: BF had the gas tank stolen out of his john boat last month. We live in a great community just bad people are everywhere.

These people had been sitting in a car, just sitting in it. Weird.

So I am out running the other day and I notice the same red car in a different location in the community trying to move their car. Um okay, car troubles.

Then yesterday I am out for my run which was going to be 9 but today I am running my long run (going camping this weekend), I run by see them now parked by my apartment. They look like they are checking the battery or something in the engine…okay. They never say anything to anyone. They are kind of out of it.

In the evening, around 6 or 7 I take my puppers out and that red car is still there…they are in it just sitting there with sheets in the windows. Creepy, are they living in it? It scares me thinking that they may still something or just walk into someone apartment.

Later when BF comes home from hunting he says that there are cops outside getting the people out of the car and talking to them. He confirms they were living in the car; the one woman was kicked out of her moms’ apartment here. BF stays down stairs and waits for the officer who apparently lives in our community (several police officers live in our apartment community as well as the neighborhood behind mine; I am thankful) He gives the officer the case number about his stolen gas tank, the office mentions that another one was just stolen last week! These people may be the ones who did the crime…
They obliviously needed it, they were not working, who knows what they were eating, drinking, smoking, or snorting. These people seemed to give up on making good choices. I always believe you make what you want with what you were given.

With thanksgiving coming up I am thankful for the healthy choices I have made with my life and worked very hard for everything that I have. I never had anything given to me but I made due with what I have, as well as making it grow.

I came to work early today so that I get off early to run my 16 miles since I am going with the BF camping at his hunting club! Fun times.
Have a great and safe weekend out there
What are you thankful for?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

My short, very short leash

Running last night was night was what it was once for me. When I first seriously started running in college when I joined the women’s cross country team, running was an outlet. It was a place for me to not think about what was going on in my life, which included a very abusive relationship for all of my freshmen year. It was devastating, but running was my way to cope at the time. I would not even feel the practice that we were running. What coach 24x 400 meters? Sure! The longer the practice the better! During that time people all around me would tell me that I was dumb for being non athletic to attempting to be on a varsity team. HA!

I grew up, got help and every year learned how to be a better person. Running has always been my major out let. I lost touch with that over the years do to the drugs (the happy ones) and other things that made me just practically sleep for an entire year of my life.

But yesterday was different. This whole week (as in from 11/10-now) has been different! I had a difficult time at work, some days I just feel so inadequate. That my boss does not trust me nor believe I can do the work. Ugh. I know I can and so do my supervisor and other colleagues. But I sit through it; I learn how to work through everything. My boss was walking me through, as I was on a short…very short leash, a protocol. It takes almost 6 hour to complete. This is the third time he is showing me…this is the third time he has changed every single step. See my frustration? How do you learn if it is always changing? Maybe this is some karate kid stuff?

Wax on…Wax off...
So after work all I really wanted was a very large very strong margarita.
Awk! I had 9 miles on the books to do… I fight myself…I put the shoes on…Walk out the door…music on…go.
I talked myself through the first 3 miles, they kind of sucked. I had cramping but I ran through it. I said okay maybe 3 miles is okay! What NO 3 ≠ 9. I do another 3 miles loop…this one, I went blank I eased through it like it was no problem. Then I got to my end of that loop than before I could begin to talk my self out of it I turned around and ran my 3 mile loop backward to complete the 9 miles.

Afterwards at home icing down and stretching there was no pain, just bliss. I kept going because that was what I needed, I was happy and not stressed out any more about my day. It was over and I survived to live again. I don’t hate my boss he wants me to learn, he is just particular about things.
I still had a margarita (we went for Mexican) but I worked for it first!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Motivation That Tricky Little Bugger

Motivation is a tricky little guy, he comes and goes as he pleases it seems. One day he is thriving and says, “Yeah! We got this, keep going!” and then other times he just walks out the door with out saying a word. When he is gone it feels like he took part of me with him. Like (nerd alert) the Golden Compass, he took my Damen away from me and I had indecision. Okay so I just watched that movie this weekend.

This is how I feel, because right now he is in my life and jumping up and down like Peanut on crack (he still denies his drug problem). ZOooommmm.
Last night I ran my 4 miles that I had to make up from Mondays Boudreaux (thanks CK for that word) 9 miles, I got in 5. This was because I was still sore from my 19.5 miles (as previously mentioned). I am today, Wednesday, still sore. I really hurt myself by not running for a full week; I am trying to keep it good as to not injury myself. I also did some XT workout, short but full intensity. Love it.

I have been feeling my shines slightly, not bad but don’t want to hurt them. I am taking 100% precautions, icing all the time. I hate medicine so that is only an option after long runs. I have also notice cracking, my legs and knees. Any ideas for that?
This morning I woke up at 6 a.m. wide awake, weird. I have been trying to wake up early to go for my run, or work out, or yoga, or just something! But this morning something was different, that little man Motivation was jumping on a trampoline in me. I got up made coffee (but didn’t drink it) and did my set of high intensity interval training for the day. I always worry about hurting my shins; one day when they grow up they will be nice and strong! After this workout I feel good and my shins feel no more worse for ware. I definitely do enjoy that morning work out watching the sunrise and the cool breeze coming through my sliding glass door. Awhh perfect.
Seeing the sunrise even if it is just on my pond in the center of a bunch of apartments is still pretty, it still shines.
My loving bf said that I am too awake for this time in the morning, as I am jumping on the bed trying to wake him up! Ha-ha.

So today my friends I have 9 miles with 5x5x5, but that is for 5k training so I may alter it. Like 8 mins x3, and then add up the miles.
Lately when I run (besides my 19.5 miles) I haven’t been running my easy runs with my Timex, because I just run faster than I am supposed and don’t know how to run slower. I didn’t mention last blog but I finish my 19.5 miles in 2:50:00 so not too bad.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

20 miles of bliss

This past Saturday was my first attempt at 20 miles. It was kind of stoopid, considering I have been slacking off for a week. I ran Thursday (5 miles), and then Friday 9 miles. They were uneventful. Just attacked by 12 year old boys with pellet guns…

So I prepare for my long run. I had gone to DICK’S to get more GU’s I bought Chocolate Outrage, TriBerry, and Cliff’s Razz something. At home I still had a Strawberry banana GU.

I woke up early Saturday, thanks to my puppy Rain. She decided I should be up at 3 A.M. to take her out then woke me up at 7. So I got up, slowly ate my breakfast of old fashion oats with banana and cinnamon. About 8 O’clock I was ready to go!

I layered up, tights on, sleeveless running shirt with a long sleeve over it. I put 1 GU in my tiny pocket of my tights with my iPOD then my other GU’s in the sports bra (front). Ha-ha you’ll find out how that ended up in the end.

I head out, it was great running weather. Honestly my run was not that exciting. I ran 17.72ish miles from my apartment to a bike path and the 6.75 miles to the end of it then back home. Every hour I fueled.

Strawberry banana GU- Love it!

Cliff Razz- Love it, tasted like warm push pops

So I must just not enjoy the Lemon Sublime or what ever that one I had the other week.

I was beginning to hurt after or around mile 18. I was slowing down, I was aching, my gait was not normal; I couldn’t get my body to do what I wanted. Also at the 2 hour mark I took off my long sleeve. I put body glide on the sports bra area but not the armpit area. The last four miles I got pure rubbing but only on one arm. My right side.

By time I made it back to my parking lot I wanted to cry, actually I think I was in tears: pain and accomplishment. I sipped some water and kept going I had 2 miles left. I painstakingly made a mile then had to stop, I do not want to be dumb and injure myself this late in the game.

Ice bath, hot shower, protein shake then look over the damage to the body.

First: my right pinky toe (something is up with my whole right side of my body only side that is ever damaged) my WHOLE pinky toe was a blister….shoe problem. Need to go a size up.

Second: Remember where I stored two of my GU’s??? Yeah bad idea, the two girls were badly hurt!! Deep scratches…I am dumb lol… Find a better location..

Over all I am proud of what I can accomplish and how well my body is doing. This is the first time I am sore and it is from my week of slacking on the running until the last minute. My right quad I sore still but it teaches me that if I want to be strong I need to keep going no matter how much I just want to sit on the couch.

Like Monday night I did not really want to run due to just being tired I had 9 to do, but did 5, so today I will do 4 plus some XT.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Land of Thousand Excuses

For the past week (last Thursday-this Thursday) I have made excuses for not running. Getting ready to go on a road trip to PA, a 10+hour drive, then again this week. Candy. I have been pumped to go run, then I come home I know it is about to be dark soon and I sit down. Done. Dead for the night. Ugh! Then I beat myself up mentally about it!

Colton St. Peter had it right, just making up excuse called being Lazy. It is not a good one. I am very capable of getting up and running for a few hours at a time, I have done it and at a legit pace. What is it that has been holding me back?

Sure I am afraid of the dark, but there are working treadmills at the gym I pay for and the gym at my apartment which I pay even more for. UGH!

Then my darling BF has said that he does not want to hear me talk about my body any more, especially on days I don’t work out. I feel sad…slightly depressed, but not all day nor all the time. Just when I come home to that dark apartment. Man I miss the days of I was so determined, maybe I just do not have enough on my plate. Like I did in college. Do other people feel this way after college, like now what?

Maybe it would be different if I had a better job. I have a job that I went to school for I work in an R&D but I am a temp, but not a normal temp. I could have this position for as long as I like. Just with out any benefits of any kind. I get total of 6 paid days off a calendar year. The women at work are like why are you not applying for the better jobs?! DO not get stuck here. I think I am afraid of the new. But the killer is…..

I randomly deceived on my graduation day that in 3 month time I would safe up a lot of money and move out of my hometown on the lake in PA….and I did. I took a map, closed my eyes, waved a finger…and BAM

Landed in Charleston, SC…Month later got a real job.

Now I got comfortable.

All my life I have been that person that fights for everything that I want…Kills me because I want to go to graduate school and a great job with benefits, to be fit and active….But Somewhere I am still fighting for that determination

Ugh, just babbling at this point.

I need to be a Nike ad, and Just Do It….

But I’ll say on here, just to 150% make sure I do it…Going to do my planned run today of 9miles.

Okay. There. Anyone harsh good comments to kick me in to line?

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Dog park

Ha, so once again attempted to take my lil' runt of a pup to the dog park close by and also fit a run in.  She was a little better this time.  She did sniff other dogs, but wont let them sniff her.  She wandered off slightly more than just staying by my side.  One day she'll make friends. Though I do feel bad, she is in an awkward size some puppies are bigger than her and the toy dogs are just too small :( I think she is some sort of hound mix??? No one knows who her mom or dad are.  Her and her brothers were abandoned by mom and on top of it they wouldn't let her eat. Sad.
 So also tried to run, atleast three miles for an easy day. FAIL.  the boy can run and so had to stop like every 1/2 mile but we did make sure i got three miles in even if part of it was walking.  But it really put me in a bad mood because there was a young girl running at least I know she did 3 miles.  I felt like a fraud! I really wish I had a running partner here.  My friend at work we do want to run more during or after work together she knows I have no one else to run with, though she has her fiance who works out with her and her friends here (she has been here almost a year longer than me)  Kinda of funny most of my friends here are not from the Low Country they are all from the north like me! Only boy is from here and don't always get along lol.
 I have less than a week until the Flowertown race and I am scared to even finish a 5k!!!!!!  Need some real encouraging words, I know I have ran this race a bunch of times, Even in my training days I run more than 3 miles.....
 Anywho! I take sundays of as my day I don't want to leave the house besides church day.  Which (on a side note) Preacher mentioned sex and made us all (500+) make paper airplanes to through.  :)
Have a great sunny sunday!!!  

Saturday, March 6, 2010

some fake 400s and such

Alright so I am still 100% completely worthless with my legs at this time, well okay just the walking part.  Using my legs feels great because I know after a short while like this I can push a little bit faster!
Yesterdays workout were 400s, now since I just moved here don't know where a track it, i know soccer fields (i didn't go) Yeah that's right, sadly I did them at my gym on a treadmill, UGH took forever since math in my head isn't the best, or I just really didn't want to think after my foreverlongneverending day at work, plus it was friday.  This whole 8-4 day job like real adult is crazy.
But anyways I had a good 10min warmpup jog. Ran my first 400 slow because I wanted a pace I could keep at for all 12 of them so 6.89:30ish?? then I jogged for 3/4 a lap then walked than repeat! I felt great! then since I max out on my 60mins on the dreadmill I moved to elliptical for my 10min cool down.
 It felt AMAZING to accomplish something again, since I began working here(by the way i LOVE my job) I just felt like I get up take pup out, feed pup + me, go to work, go to gym (sometimes) come home, eat, take pup out, sleep REPEAT. UGH this has been more draining than college.  I can't wait to apply for graduate school and get back in the system.
 Today is a great morning! Sun is out going to be in the 60s and either due a 40min run or some hills if the kids are completely taken it over.
Have a great da

Thursday, March 4, 2010


.....And not because I just saw you! Ha
So I am back with a trainer again to get me in the optimal condition to handle the running.  He was pretty good, he understands what my goals are and that I have been atheltic, so can handle a LOT.  We did a lot of speed drills a ton of leg and some core.  I had a blast, my favorite time ever besides hills is being in the gym with my trainer.  The goal is to not stop moving at anytime during our times, metabolism work.
 Afterwards I ran out of the gym because I was supposed to meet up with a friend that I met went I first moved here to go to the AFB for yoga, words got mixed up and she left before I was done, UGH.  Wanted that yoga time!  Before I got my puppy and job here in Low Country I was able to do yoga every morning! Oh the time flew by 6months now I've been here!
 Today I was completely sore when I went to work, well okay my butt and quads.  A girl at my company and I had made plans to run the trails during lunch.  My company is very active, I wonder if it is because (1) we all have biology backgrounds (2) its the south and seems more into being active.  We are all training-ish for the Flowertown race this next weekend (March 13th) most people are going to do the walk, but the girl in the next lab and I will run the 5k.  There is a 10k but I don't think I would be ready for it.  So we ran, and it was great and HORRIBLE all at the same time.  I was so stiff (even though I had streched last night like crazy) and that 2.35miles went slow and quick all at the same time.
 Anyone ever have that twilight zone thing happen?
Well now I have a long run planned for tomorrow and hills on saturday + speed workout!!!
Right now I feel like my legs are jelly and I look funny walking, yeah I'm outofshape.  Feel like a freshmen in college all over again!!!  

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Snow and Dresses

So this past weekend I ventured up into the great north! My beau and I drove to my home town for my formal and for him to meet the parent(s) and familia.  It was a LONG drive up! lol I freaked out with the snow and him driving due to my last accident I found out I have really really bad anxiety in cars now...GREAT. But we made it safe to town in 13 hours! Over all the trip was good, lots of snow, lots of food, being with my dad ( I really miss him ) FINALLY getting to hangout with my girlfriend whom I miss very much!!!

We ran 1 time...

There were a lot of new girls that I had no clue whom they were.  It was sad to really not know that many people at my own formal, even worse the alum and active relations.  Not one came up to me to introduce themselves to me.  When I was first an active it was put into my head that I need to introduce myself to all alum/people I didn't know.  I was nervous but I had a sister to help me out!  It surprised me I really didn't drink for some reason, have a drink or two than water...idk what it was... Guess being out of my element.  I still love my sisters, though I may think of a different level.

All in all it was a good weekend....with a long drive home

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Doggy Park and a Hill

So this weekend my boyfriend Alan and I went to Wannamaker park here, I have been wanting to go to this park since I got my puppy because there is a doggy park.  My brother and sister-in-law always take their dogs to one and well my puppy Rain really needs to socialize with other dogs.  She seems lately to act like  a cat around other dogs as well as sit on the back of the couch looking out the window....Hmmm..

So we went (and the adventure begins) First off we didn't know it cost a Dollar to enter the park (per person) and like the people we are, we had no cash on us!!! So quick U-turn to an ATM to grab some cash.  Come back. Enter. Locate Dog park.

We found it and went to go in, reading all of the signs, Rain did not have her tags on her (we need to get her a bigger collar to put them on) So we went in anyways.  Also didn't even think to bring a toy for her to play with, luckly there were dirty old balls there!!! She was SCARED, she had no clue what to do with all of theses other dogs!!! Ha-ha.  She just stared at them, other dogs would try to come up to her to sniff her butt and well she had no clue what was going on since she really has never been around other dogs.  She wouldn't make friends just kind of slowly walked around and stared at everything.  It was really fun for Alan and I, we met other people and their dogs.  One was a boxer named Buddha he would sit on his owner like a human.  One big dog named Guage whom loved the water and thus got every other big dog in to the dirty pond!!!!! Then the little dogs whom I will name after my brothers dogs because that is what they reminded me of, Teddy and Jackie (Jack)

Now I had heard a rumor that there was a hill in this park, by the way there are NO hills here and that is my FAVORITE workout!!! So we decide to leave the doggy area and put Rain back on her lease and walk around the park on the paths, it is very nice and not only are there paved paths but also dirt paths through the "Woods" which is my favorite since then I don't have to worry about my shins hurting.  Finally after the mile loop we find the "hill," it was man made in the playground.  Apparently it was for kids to slide down on with cardboard.  So I found a small section for me to run up!!

I warmed up quick, and a so nervous to do my workout I've been dreaming to do since I moved here.  I wasn't going to do it because I hate looking stupid! But I have an encourage guy who has no shame and told me to go and do it! So i accomplished 12 reps I was happy, next time I will go early in the am or after work before 5 (when it closes) and do 20!!!

Then Sunday I didn't run, nor did I monday.... So today a girl at work and I are going to do an easy 2 - 3 mile run at lunch and hopefully I can hit the gym tonight either at my apt or not.

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Okay! This week I can say I have actually been doing a training schedule, pretty much just at the whim.  I have written down a monthly training but I think I need to do a weekly because of my motivation problem. This week I am proud,

Monday: I 3 miles

Tues: 4 miles

Wednesday: I went to the Airforce base and did yoga

Thursday: SUPER sore from yoga, accomplished 10min warmup, hills, 5 min cool down on a treadmill (Charleston apparently has no hills) hills are my favorite workout

Friday: 2x8min 5 min recover @9:00 :( so slowww I miss the old me 7:01-7:20 min miles

Sat: I hope for a 40-45 min run 

sunday: ???

So I really want to be serious again, because I have regrets about quitting track and cross country in college.  I was in serious pain but I think i could of recovered.  The year I quit I was running fast! Practice I have no clue how but I was running along side of our fastest runner whom had been running her entire life!!!!  So I quit because college was soo much and then I decided to join a sorority I just wish I had been a strong enough person at the time to keep it all up I know it was a lot, but I also feel like I missed out on so much for quitting.   

My coach was training me to run the mile he said i was a faster runner than I knew.  Even though after anything below a 3000m run I threw up, I was just not used to the speed.  I hated every second of it, but looking back I was doing something I never in my life thought I could ever do.  RUN.  Being the dorky musician in high school participating in marching band and world class drum corps I believed I  was destined to be a world class musician.  All my gym teachers wanted me to run for my high school because for the mile fitness test I always finished 2nd the first person was always a boy.  But my high school was not very high on anything, academics, sports, music (another story of why I have public schools, gov't, and politics that all surrounds the public school system) My kids will never be in one!!

Needless to say my goal is just to train and race this year, finally decided on a real life goal... I hope that some people can help me with this

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Morning Runs....

"When you run in the morning, you gain time in a sense. It's like stretching 24 hours into 25. You may need to sleep less and get up earlier, but if you can get by that, running early seems to expand the day. "

Fred Lebow, founder of the New York City Marathon
Now If only I could get up in the morning for a run! Ha I was on RW for a bit today, like most days now.  Found that so many people have the same lack of motiviation right now, I'm not including people who are in layers of snow.  Thoughes of us in the warmer states feel that same winter slump as the people with all of the REAL winter depression of not running outside. I have all intentions of getting up at 5:30 to either go to gym at my apartment, or my gym I pay for since it is too dark outside. Yeah I hit that snooze button like hell! and So does my boyfriend, so he is definately not helping me do what I should and want to do! Though he supports me in what I would love to do...and run.

UGH!!! I am so frustrated with this thought of running twice a day or working out and running...Just life seems so crazy with a livein boyfriend.....But it should be easier since I have someone to help with the puuppy and apartment things... Now I just feel obligated like I should be home with him. DUMB!!! My girl back home whom I am completely idol over....would be mad

She just goes to GYM like its ritual and nothing to it! Twice a day and such and yoga. Idk but I just can't and now the weight of 30extra pounds keeps piling up, my formal in two weeks will just be soooo much fun now.!

So today I can either....Run for while/ ecliptical, or 5:15 cycle class, or PIYOclass at 5 or I can go early run + cycle class :) I think I like that second one... OKAY so lets see how this goes!!!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Horrible Night at Gym

Last night I went to my gym and well I had a HORRIBLE work out, it was just a disaster.  I wanted to run 3 miles. My shins began to kill me and realizing i need to switch back to my other brand. So i ran mile 1 walked mile 2 at 8%incline at 3.5mph...then attempted to run mile 3 got to the last 1.5th of mile and walked it at the incline (SUCK)

My original trainer also saw me and asked me who I was training with and I said no one because of my car accident i've been down on $$$ and kind depressed but now I want to train for races again.  So I am going to meet with her next week and get going again.  Need to get everything back on track!!!

Also at my work they have sent an e-mail around for training for the up coming races my company wants to try and make a team for the Flowertown race and Cooper Bridge run! So thats pretty cool

But at work early so I can get out in the field and look at some lovely Pines all day!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010


So all yesterday at work i was on, became obessed with it yesterday, I just can't get running off my mind but yet still have a large part of me that can't seem to get a jump start like a really really old harley that just doesn't want to start,  It frustrating. I keep watching my weight go up and up.  First time in my whole life I've ever had to watch my weight go up.  Since I have been running like I did in college.  I hate myself everyday that I'm not out there.

I went last night to the gym and did a new workout I found, hills for the tredmill. Was pretty good work out, my shoes suck for me I realized this I need to go back to my brooks and get rid of my asics.  Which is about time I've had these shoes for over 6 months. 

So Goals: I wanted to run in the 8k for H2O but idk if that will happen, I mean I could just do it and just not run well and maybe that would help me to get motivated (its on Feb 20th) but I am DEFFFFF doing the cooper bridge run!!! 10k in Charleston.  Everyone at work talks about it, it is one of the biggest events.  I want to compete for the under 1 hr, in college I ran the 10k at 44mins.  So I woud like to be under 1 hr. I know I can do it!!! I have 6 weeks until that race.

I want to run twice a day, work does not help with this having my hours be crazy when we have to travel to places to collect tree samples.  But I need to, everyday is a new day....

Friday, February 5, 2010

Big move

Well it is definately a big move for me, my boyfriend of only, barely two months is moving in with me.  He had been renting a house.... I should say shake in the capital of lovely south carolina.  Now a lot of this state is really old and run down, like the house which was over 100 years old and used to be a school??? I don't know thats what his landlord/hunting buddy/old mayor said.  Crazy to me from the "City" I'm from I say that because compared to that redneck area I was at last night Erie,PA was the BIG CITY.

Reason why he has a rented "house" in Columbia is because about 8 months ago him and his long term girlfriend of 6 years and two kids of hers (not his) finally broke up.  They had the whole nine yards, house and blahb blah blah.  I apparently give him crap for all of this taking care of someone else's kids being a father-thing when they never married.  Maybe I am definately too young to have wanted to EVER deal with that.  When they first started dating he was my age and she was a cougar (he apparently really just dated older women), now has me who is over 6 years younger than him! Anyways they had the house in walterboro, which is a ghosttown with one traffic light, that is a flashing yellow yield sign.... He wanted to get as far way from that place as possible, so he did....

Then one glamorous night at Market street saloon (Charleston), he saw a young girl wearing a STEELERS jersey dancing on the bar...Then  proceeded to ask her for her number, poor fella, took 4 tries... :)  But after getting to know each other very quick, he kept staying in town at his friends house then began staying over alot. and now well I'm at work and he is finishing up at his shack in columbia with my puppy then heading on down to now our shared ONE bedroom apartment, which by the way I can't not wait to get a two bedroom!!!

I know I am not ready to settle down quite yet, like house, picket fence and 2.5 kids running around. But I am definately having fun and I see my self waking up to this Southern Sweet Heart for a long time.

This is the first time I have ever lived with a boy I am dating, it is exciting but now I can't run away from him, but I don't think I want to.  I haven't felt this way in a long time and it better than my last relationship two years ago (Bill).  I'm healthy now and can handle the relationship, thanks to one horrible night, thanks to the support of my sisters, thanks to my family for taking me in.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


So it appears again I such at this, notice no posts = i haven't ran.. Than stress on money and buying a car right now really makes me depressed and well i've also been over eating at home which also makes me even more depressed since I have a horrible horrible body image issue... that really my boyfriend alan takes the full heat of because he lives with me

This is just sad.... I really want to run in the race on the 20th but as of right now that only leaves 16 days of training and well i'm going out of town again today (yesterday in GA for work) so hopefully I can I really want to I want to make a commitment and keep it and actually finish something I said I was gonna do....UGH

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Day 7

Okay! So yeah I'm sore!!!! Yesterday I went to my gym and ran my 7 x400m I Loved it!!! my knees hurt today though (oh well). I got out of work a little early because the one thing I had to do was outside and well the wind made that a problem.

So gym, ofcourse it was packed and the tred-n-shed class was about to start so I grabbed one of the last tredmills and began.  I started with a ten minute warmup one 5.0 to 5.5 Then I began, my first lap was at 8.0= 8min mile.. That went well I then ran 1/2 lap at 4.5 then walked at 3.5 for 1/2 lap. REPEAT.

At one point the tredmill made a weird noise!!! I thought I broke it.  So then ended up having to stop the tredmill and startover but atleast i was half way done.

I felt great after my 7th one (8.3), then 10min cool down.

today 3miles

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Day 6

Alright so I knew the weekends would be hard to stay motivated! And well Sunday took the best of me, I did not do my 45 min run.  We went to church then laid around all day and ate all junk food. Ha! great! I felt so bloated! Oh well monday was a new day!

Monday I went to the gym after work I tried to leave a little early to get to the gym to take the 5:15 cycle class, lil' too late so I decided to do my 3 mile run before the cycle class.  Also was so smart and forgot my iPOd great way to start!!!! I ran a pretty slow 3 miles starting at 10:50min mile to 9:50 to 9:13 then sprinting the last lap, I felt great afterwards!!!!

I did some awesome 10mins of stretching to use up time before the class...still had time so grabbed the fitness magazine and jumped on the eliptical...Then it was time for class!

This woman I've never had for an instructor, she was going around asking a group of woman if they had ever taken the class before (they hadn't) i'm still new to this class but I guess I was doing okay.  Later on in the class she pushed us hard! She made sure all of our bikes were at level 7, now I still am not used to the % for the turns and what not, but I must of been doing alright because she never changed my gears. That actually made me pretty happy! The class was high energy and made me exhuasted by the end but I finished strong!!!!

Today I have 7x400 hopefully at 5k pace....we will see.. now work

Saturday, January 23, 2010

3 mile

So today my boyfriend A and I woke up, last night we had talked about him going running with me in the morning and he said yes that he would as he is downing a beer! lol But then we decided to finish out 1 beer play monoploy and hit the head.  It is always so hard to wake up when its cold outside and dark, today was lightly sprinkling and overcast so its gloomy.  Well i finally got up at 7:30 to get ready for the run, dragged him out of bed to begin this, only one really interested was my puppy Rain who REALLY wanted to go! He jokes about wearing flip flops (sneakerss in truck)

Well we headed out on our journey through the neighborhoods today and it wasn't bad, we passed an old man on his daily walk and it was nice to get a run in with my boyfriend. This definately was a first.  He knows how much I want to run again in races so he is willing to help me out there!

So far my knees are just sore so thats good, I need to make sure I watch out for my shin splints which throughout college I had to maintain and the reason for quitting.  I look back now and wish I would of never quit cross country and track...but hey I can still do it now for the rest of my life!!!

Up next: 45mins run tomorrow, outside or tredmill????

Friday, January 22, 2010


So finally I have decided on something to write about atleast for about 30days... Though there is a work story i need to write up sometime...

OKay so my new goal is to run in a 8k (4.9miles) race on Feburary 20th here on one of the beaches in Charleston.  I will run 6 days a week like when I was in college, some days will be double days of mornign and evening running.  I don't care how difficult the first month will be but I will push through this just like I know I can.  I need a challenge that I can control in my life unlike all of the unexpected things that have been happening to me in the recent times.  I feel like for 2 years now I've just let things happen to me.  Like my urge to move to Charleston, I need to do everything to make this race happen.

I should be able to finish the race before 45 minutes which is how long I know I can run a 10k (college).  So lets get this going I started My personal program yesterday but ran for two days...

My program is structured I made it from my college schedule and other training schedules I found on line.  So it consists of 30-90 min runs some structured some pace.. 400meter repeats.  5x5x5s (5 min intervals 5k 5 times) cross training(XT) strength training.

So yesterday I went and did a cycling class which I love because they are crazy!!! Then I did a slow 10-14min mile 2miles total.

Today my butt is SORE from the bike seat!!!! lol but I love the feeling of using body parts that you forget about! What I really want is to find a school to do my 400s at and not on a tredmill

Fridays I have designated as my resting days except I do not rest the day before the race so that week is a little messed up..

But anyways!! Tomorrow I will start again I believe with a 3 mile run! then Sun with a 40 min easy run

Friday, January 8, 2010


I need something to write about that has a purpose...

Everything is becoming really random....

New years eve... I crashed my car...or I guess someone slammed into me..

I have been really useless since it...

The other people are fighting it and calling the police officer racist... I don't understand why people need to do this, it is quite frustrating...

I have no car and my new boyfriend is driving me 14miles to and from work everyday (he's not working takes 4 months off a year) and he is pretty much paying for everything at the moment.  He is a blessing..really..

I ran out of money...I (1) spent too much on holiday (2) haven't been working 40hrs due to holidays everymonth (3) had to pay on some student loans

I'm okay now...

I know no one reads this....I would still like help to figure out something to write to make me do something productive...

I haven't gone to the gym since before newyears...