Thursday, November 11, 2010

The Land of Thousand Excuses

For the past week (last Thursday-this Thursday) I have made excuses for not running. Getting ready to go on a road trip to PA, a 10+hour drive, then again this week. Candy. I have been pumped to go run, then I come home I know it is about to be dark soon and I sit down. Done. Dead for the night. Ugh! Then I beat myself up mentally about it!

Colton St. Peter had it right, just making up excuse called being Lazy. It is not a good one. I am very capable of getting up and running for a few hours at a time, I have done it and at a legit pace. What is it that has been holding me back?

Sure I am afraid of the dark, but there are working treadmills at the gym I pay for and the gym at my apartment which I pay even more for. UGH!

Then my darling BF has said that he does not want to hear me talk about my body any more, especially on days I don’t work out. I feel sad…slightly depressed, but not all day nor all the time. Just when I come home to that dark apartment. Man I miss the days of I was so determined, maybe I just do not have enough on my plate. Like I did in college. Do other people feel this way after college, like now what?

Maybe it would be different if I had a better job. I have a job that I went to school for I work in an R&D but I am a temp, but not a normal temp. I could have this position for as long as I like. Just with out any benefits of any kind. I get total of 6 paid days off a calendar year. The women at work are like why are you not applying for the better jobs?! DO not get stuck here. I think I am afraid of the new. But the killer is…..

I randomly deceived on my graduation day that in 3 month time I would safe up a lot of money and move out of my hometown on the lake in PA….and I did. I took a map, closed my eyes, waved a finger…and BAM

Landed in Charleston, SC…Month later got a real job.

Now I got comfortable.

All my life I have been that person that fights for everything that I want…Kills me because I want to go to graduate school and a great job with benefits, to be fit and active….But Somewhere I am still fighting for that determination

Ugh, just babbling at this point.

I need to be a Nike ad, and Just Do It….

But I’ll say on here, just to 150% make sure I do it…Going to do my planned run today of 9miles.

Okay. There. Anyone harsh good comments to kick me in to line?

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