苦闘

I was reading a book that I could not remember if I had read before, I'd obviously seen the movie...So I went to the library one day and picked it up. Memoirs of a Geisha. Took me a week to finish, as I just did earlier this evening. I can say I 1) do remember reading it 2) was teary at a few points. The struggle with life.

The struggle of the loss of family, becoming a slave/maid if you will, no control of day to day roles....The struggle of surviving in a time of turmoil....To find happiness that was said to be unattainable.

I was finally actually reading into the words of the author of the womans life. As I was actively reading, I could relate in some way. Just as every girl can struggling to come out in a world that is controlled by men and the thoughts of what a "proper" woman should do/ act. The loss of family member to a disease. Growing up unknowing of my own destiny, thinking that I have found it. Then it is gone. Or hold on to somethings that just need to be let go of. Wishing to send messages to someone, like throwing flowers into the river hoping that person may see them and pick a petal up out of the water.

With all of the bumps in life. The ups and downs. The tears and joy. Right now I may be in a hole per se. I have felt very low since returning to dreary Eeeerie (as some call it), as well as some bad luck. With people, mutiple cars, and money.

I feel true to this quote lately(slightly edited)..."life has been like a stream that falls over rocky cliffs before it can reach the ocean..."..."whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer them, all too soon they bleed in into a wash, just like watery in on paper."